Today I noticed one of my options had a bid/ask of 0.00/0.05 and I couldn't figure out why the market was valuing this asset accordingly. I double-checked all my data and had my staff re-run all the data through the WOPR Computer to make sure my models were correct, and indeed they were. I immediately got on the horn with the brokerage wanting to get to the bottom of this. Well let me tell you the guy who answered tried telling me the options were worthless. Can you believe? So I kindly explained my models were showing a valuation much larger than they were and I would like to have these moved off balance sheet and into Tier 3 for now. Apparently this guy has never heard of Tier 3 options (everyone does is, it's the latest thing) because we went back and forth for about 5 minutes before he put me on hold to speak to his supervisor after I threatened to do something silly like open an account with with that guy who flies the black helicopter on tv. They must have been looking at all the commissioned trades I've made because I was on hold for about 45 minutes. When they finally returned [both the supervisor and the rep], I heard them snickering and they told me that I'm such a valued customer that if I check my account this weekend they'll move it to "Tier 3" for me, no longer appearing in my "normal account" and therefore will not be on the balance sheet.Can you believe! I totally fooled them didn't I? Pfft, worthless. So right about now I'm feeling clever, too clever. Not wanting this to get to my head, I immediately tuned into Power Lunch in order to dumb myself down. All I can say is thank goodness my Tivo turned channels to record Dora The Explorer because after only 5 minutes of Power Lunch I was ready to declare a bottom in the bear market.
PS. The only things not in Dora's backpack are Cramer's books. And you thought that show was only for kids? Even adults can learn from that girl.
